I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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