i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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