I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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