Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
