ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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