PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
