i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize