And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
