I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
