I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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