You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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