we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
