You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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