Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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