how can u be prego again
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
