Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
