Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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