At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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