I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
