so that wasnt chicken after all
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
