Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
