Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
