sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
How does one acquire holy water?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
