Buhtt sex?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
