Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
