You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize