btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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