party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
