She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
