u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize