dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
