Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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