I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize