He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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