We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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