How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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