5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
