I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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