I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
