I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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