It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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