i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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