he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
