I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
