it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
