mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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