maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
