Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
