Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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