who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
