He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
