Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
