just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
