I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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