Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
