he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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