But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
