She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
