I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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