I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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